Sleep Training

We are now pass the 1 week mark of sleep training and I have to admit the first few days was difficult - extremely difficult.  Lukas cried for as long as an hour or more wanting to be held by either me or my husband.   Lukas' doctor said that since Lukas is now over 9 months he is now conscious of the cause and effect process specifically when he wants something.  He basically knows that if he cries loud and long enough he will get rewarded with either being held or milk so his doctor advised us not to reward the midnight cries but instead give him reassurance that we are there for him by gently touching him and talking to him softly.  In the beginning it was a difficult challenge because as a mother your instinct will tell you to hold your baby and rock him until he gets comfortable and not being able to do this just broke my heart (it tore my insides and crushed every bit of me).  I also noticed that Lukas frustration grew the more I talked to him or reassured him, his probably thinking "NO I want to be held".  A few times I was ready to throw the towel and give in to what he wanted and just bring him back to our bed just so that I can have a little break (countless times I feel the wrinkles seeping into my forehead because of stress and frustration) but I know that the more I cater to him the longer it will be for him to get the confidence of being independent.  It's weird because when times gets tough I blame myself for not doing this early on but I know that that doesn't help so I'll just have to live through it and convince myself that it will get better.  As the nights passed Lukas' cries became shorter and fewer and at this point only cries when he's looking for his binky.  I think we've passed the challenging stage and I am happy to have given Lukas the confidence he needs.  I don't regret co-sleeping that's what we needed at that point of time but if I can do it again I'll probably sleep train him a lot earlier than 9 months of age but it's never to late....